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I'm So Tired 2:230:00/2:23
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F'ing Technology 3:290:00/3:29
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You Are Not a Market 3:470:00/3:47
Lil’ Asskickers Bassoon Reeds
Reeds should be back in stock by
11/30/23.
Play bassoon. Kick some ass!
I offer responsive reeds and responsive shipping! All orders are shipped within 5 business days! I have had students wait weeks, even months for reed orders to arrive, that’s why I won’t sell reeds that are not ready to go.
Lil’ Asskickers features include:
- Play tested on two separate days
- Two weeks minimum time on the drying rack
- Internal bevels
- Lead-free brass wire
- Non-Toxic polyolefin hot melt glue
These are not the prettiest or most perfect-looking reeds you can buy. Instead, my reeds are each adjusted for optimum response, flexibility, and ass-kicking.
Herzberg Hellraiser
The classic Lil’ Asskicker! These reeds are responsive, flexible, free-blowing, and project well in all registers. They are my personal choice for most situations of bassoon-related asskicking.
Precision gouged, shaped, and profiled by Barton Cane, these reeds are made with a Herzberg shape and Barton’s standard profile. It’s very difficult to beat
The classic Lil’ Asskicker! These reeds are responsive, flexible, free-blowing, and project well in all registers. They are my personal choice for most situations of bassoon-related asskicking.
Precision gouged, shaped, and profiled by Barton Cane, these reeds are made with a Herzberg shape and Barton’s standard profile. It’s very difficult to beat the consistency that Barton Cane’s state-of-the-art machines can produce. I also like to save time for, you know, having a life.
The tube of the reed is given a “Herzberg” style bevel AFTER forming. Some say the bevel helps keep the tip and throat of the reed open. Some say it helps seal the tube. Some skip the process altogether to save time and because they are wimps. I think it’s worth the time and helps the reeds kick more ass. All reeds dry for a MINIMUM of two weeks after forming.
After finishing and play-testing reeds, I wait at least at least 24 hours before play-testing again, refinishing when necessary.
Tecbond 280 hotmelt glue: Not all hot glues are the same! After consulting with manufacturers and experimenting with MANY, I found this to be the best for bassoon reeds. It is non-toxic and F.D.A. approved* (All the constituent parts of this adhesive have been approved by the American F.D.A. under C.F.R. 21.175.105).
Lead free brass wire from R. J. Leahy.
Reeds are sanitized with a hydrogen peroxide solution in an ultrasonic bath, which also helps quicken the break-in period, and dried for at least three days before packaging.
$5 shipping for the first reed, $0 for each additional Hellraiser! INTERNATIONAL SHIPPING is available for $35 import tax not included.
*Lil’ Asskickers bassoon reeds are not for human consumption.
Whoopass Willies
I find these reeds to be especially responsive in the low register, with good response overall, but a bit less flexibility than the classic Asskicker. But that’s just me. Those who haven’t had much success with the Herzberg shape seem do really well with these.
Cane is gouged, shaped, and profiled by Robert Williams, retired principal bassoonist of
I find these reeds to be especially responsive in the low register, with good response overall, but a bit less flexibility than the classic Asskicker. But that’s just me. Those who haven’t had much success with the Herzberg shape seem do really well with these.
Cane is gouged, shaped, and profiled by Robert Williams, retired principal bassoonist of the Detroit Symphony. The shape is very similar to a Rieger 2, with a bit more flare in the back. That’s right, MORE FLARE IN THE BACK! The internal bevel is created before the cane is formed using a special beveling jig. All reeds dry for a MINIMUM of two weeks after forming.
After finishing and play-testing reeds, I wait at least 24 hours before play-testing again, refinishing when necessary.
Tecbond 280 hotmelt glue: Not all hot glues are the same. After consulting with manufacturers and experimenting with MANY, I found this to be the best for bassoon reeds. It is non-toxic and F.D.A. approved* (All the constituent parts of this adhesive have been approved by the American F.D.A. under C.F.R. 21.175.105).
Lead free brass wire from R. J. Leahy.
Reeds are sanitized with a hydrogen peroxide solution in an ultrasonic bath, which also helps quicken the break-in period, and dried for at least three days before packaging.
$5 shipping for the first reed, $0 for each additional Willie! INTERNATIONAL SHIPPING is available for $35 Import tax not included.
*Do not eat, chew, or vape Whoopass Willies
Hellraiser/Whoopass Combo (Save on shipping if ordering both)
Raise a little hell, whoop a little ass! Each combo contains 1 Herzberg Hellraiser and 1 Whoopass Willie. Pay just $5 shipping and order as many as you like. Truthfully, I think one should get 3 or 4 of each to really decide which style works best. But hey, if you just want to kick a LITTLE bit of ass for now, go for it!
*INTERNATIONAL SHIPPING is
Raise a little hell, whoop a little ass! Each combo contains 1 Herzberg Hellraiser and 1 Whoopass Willie. Pay just $5 shipping and order as many as you like. Truthfully, I think one should get 3 or 4 of each to really decide which style works best. But hey, if you just want to kick a LITTLE bit of ass for now, go for it!
*INTERNATIONAL SHIPPING is available for $35. Import tax not included
The Ultimate Bassoon Fingering Chart v3.1 INCLUDING The Mother of All Trill Charts(PDF DOWNLOAD)
The Ultimate Bassoon Fingering Chart includes all the fingerings a professional bassoonists may ever need (aside from multiphonics and microtonal fingerings) yet is also useful and readable for beginners.
This uniquely annotated fingering chart covers the entire range of the bassoon up to A5 (a perfect 5th above the Rite of Spring solo!)
The Ultimate Bassoon Fingering Chart includes all the fingerings a professional bassoonists may ever need (aside from multiphonics and microtonal fingerings) yet is also useful and readable for beginners.
This uniquely annotated fingering chart covers the entire range of the bassoon up to A5 (a perfect 5th above the Rite of Spring solo!) Modifications to improve slurs, intonation, and extreme dynamics are included. The diagrams are also color-coded to draw attention to often-neglected keys.
This now includes THE MOTHER OF ALL TRILL CHARTS, which includes 70 trill fingerings (over 140 fingerings in all) plus many modifications and annotations, ranging from B1 to G♭5!
While this does not include every fingering found in the 370 pages of Cooper and Toplansky's Essentials of Bassoon Technique aka "The Big Red Book", it includes several which are not. Additionally, it is much quicker to find the notes you need without a bunch of fingerings you do not. It's portable as a printed PDF or digital file and much more affordable!
This fingering chart was created with two primary goals in mind: The first, to represent the optimal fingerings for most bassoons and players. However, every player’s setup, from instrument, to bocal, to reed, to each player’s anatomy is different. Every artist is entitled to and should make their own aesthetic and technical choices for managing their instrument. Thus the second goal of this chart is to inspire critical-thinking about each fingering’s unique traits in regards to intonation, timbre, resonance, and facility.
Updated versions of the chart will be available periodically and FREE for those who have already purchased.